Sexual Intimacy in Marriage by William Cutrer

The authors wanted to take the subject of sex “out of the closet while keeping it out of the gutter” (13). In the past, many publications on the topic of sex have been “overly spiritual” (ignoring “human realities”) or were too medical (bypassing the “mental and emotional” aspects of sex). The answer to the dilemma was this “easy-to-read” book that blends the “glory of sex” with the “realities of life”(13). This book explains all aspects of sex, including male and female anatomy, sexual myths, and answering specific questions regarding sexual practice from a Christian point of view.

This book was very frank in explaining sexual issues. The authors said that the “number one” problem couples experienced was talking about sex, even though communication was the key to discovering the sexual desires of one’s spouse (82). The book, containing sketches of male and female anatomy as well as the proper form for the “squeeze technique,” could be used as an “ice breaker” for couples who find it difficult to openly communicate about sexual matters.

In the section entitled, “The Sexual Response Cycle,” Dr. Cutrer shared, “God designed our genitals to become aroused” he continued by saying, “the enjoyment of beauty does not need to be wicked…we can appreciate the lovely form of biceps or breast without falling headlong into uncontrolled passion” (50). It seemed almost contradictory for him to write in the next paragraph, “arousal whets the sexual appetite…it gently or not-so-gently turns the mind toward sexual fulfillment…sometimes sight is enough” (50). Perhaps the wording was not clear, but it appeared that being sexually stimulated by others was acceptable. This seemed contrary to what Jesus said in Matthew 5:28- “I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Overall, the book had several positive aspects. For instance, many people get married without ever realizing the magnitude of the commitment. The most helpful section of the book was entitled, “What is Marriage?” It described the “two things” involved with marriage-leaving one’s parents and cleaving to the spouse (116). Instead of giving newlyweds an opportunity to come back when they are unhappy about their marriage, the authors insisted that parents ought to tell their child, “When you say `I do,’ keep your commitment in sickness and health. We’re renting out your room tomorrow. Drop by sometime for a visit” (117). This statement puts an emphasis on the importance of marital commitment and through “tough love” the parents demonstrate support for their child’s marriage. The authors valiantly described the biblical roles of both husband and wife. This book fulfilled its goal of providing a “practical approach to many sexual problems and challenges that confront married couples” (14).

Copyright © 2007 M. Teresa Trascritti

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