Yesterday was “Day 5” post-surgery. I was doing great—eating some solid foods, not taking any pain medication, able to open my mouth to see the back of my throat, and even though I had difficulty with it, I was able to swallow my allergy tablet.
Early this morning, I woke up with intense pain radiating from the surgical site to my ears and down my neck. The back of my throat was swollen and I could hardly swallow. It was about the same pain I felt right after I had surgery.
I quickly realized that I had forgotten to take my steroid last night before going to sleep. I quickly got out of bed to take it, and for the first time in days, I also took pain medication. As I took the meds, I started to blame my husband— “why didn’t he remind me to take my medication? Does he know that I’m not well? All he cares about is himself!”
The good thing about taking liquid pain medication is that it gets into the body quickly. The pain is less intense now, and with a clearer head I realized how easily people can revert back to their “old self.”
It’s almost effortless to exhibit Christian-like characteristics when everything is going well, but when something is wrong or if nothing positive is happening then we go back to acting the way we did before we knew Christ— doing and saying things that we shouldn’t do or say, and even relying on ourselves.
James 1:12 says, “God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation…” Galatians 6:9 encourages us to keep going, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
I think all of us have moments when we stumble, but we need to get up and continue on the road that God has placed us—we can’t go back to the way we were when we didn’t know Him. Sometimes that’s hard to do, especially when life is difficult; but that’s when we need to fully rely on God.
I am like a wounded animal right now. I am tired of being in the state that I am in, but I can’t let my current circumstances hold me back from growing into the image of Jesus. I need to find joy despite my pain and misery. I need to continue focusing on positive things—“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise… Then the God of peace will be with you” (Phil 4:8-9).